If you’re anything like me, just hearing the word “Christmas” conjures up some of my warmest memories of childhood. A joyous, bustling houseful of relatives, the freshly scented tree, the once-a-year special treats, the sparkle and magic of the season. It sounds simply perfect, doesn’t it?

My mother devoted time to perfecting holiday traditions, and as I grew into adulthood, I tried to recreate her Christmas each year. I’ve slowly realized, though, that I’m just not capable of pulling off the myriad of decorations, cooking, shopping, working, and parenting that she did...nor do I have to. But as a perfectionist, accepting this fact about myself and stepping away from my childhood traditions felt painful.

But, bit by bit, I’ve released this pressure to create the “perfect” Christmas, and I’ve realized something miraculous. The entire holiday season is better now, not just for me, but for my whole family. The stress lifted, joy descended, and new memories and traditions are being made. Here’s how I did it…

Reframe Your Own Expectations

It’s human nature to create our own pressures, especially around the holidays. But in order to release those high expectations, we have to first believe that we are more than our Christmas traditions. Our value should not be tied up in the number of trees we display, lights we hang, or cards we send.

Once you feel secure and solid in your decision, you’re ready to simplify your holidays. This step revolves around knowing what to let go. This is a personal and sometimes difficult decision, so I can’t tell you exactly which items should be moved from your to-do list to your not-to-do list. But I can show you what I’m personally letting go of this year. I hope it inspires reflection, courage if you need it, and ultimately, your peace of mind.

1. I won’t be purchasing a live Christmas tree this year.

My family will be traveling over the holidays, and we simply don’t have the time to ensure it doesn’t dry out. And frankly, I’m not interested in cleaning up a floor full of pine needles after returning from our trip.

2. I’m toning back the holiday decor.

In past years, I decorated a themed tree in every room of our house. Whew. That was taking on too much. Scaling back on decorating will easily give me the time and energy to focus on the moments — and people — that really matter.

3. I won’t be displaying candles in our windows.

This year, I won’t spend a moment of my time keeping up with those temperamental battery-operated candles. You know which ones I’m talking about. With over 30 windows in our home, ensuring they’re working, on, and in place has become far too time-consuming.

4. I won’t be sending holiday cards.

Thanks to social media, I have an almost daily connection with my family and friends. They know what’s going on in my life, so there’s no new information to share on a holiday card. Instead of mass-mailing cards, I’d rather host a small gathering in January after the holiday rush is over or write a heartfelt letter on some lovely stationery with a favorite pen.

5. I will not give meaningless gifts.

Giving is often synonymous with the holidays and usually manifests itself in the form of tangible gifts — often, lots of them. But cramming a year’s worth of thanks and love into just one month seems pretty preposterous. Does that mean we should stop showing our loved ones we care during the holidays? Of course not. For my family, we’ve traded stressing over gifts for thoroughly enjoying experiences together.

We enjoy freely giving to charities (all year, not just during the holidays) and focus on giving each other our most precious and meaningful gift: time. With an emphasis on experiences, we plan movie days, go skiing, cook meals, and have family game nights together. Different from the Christmas I grew up with? Yes. Equally satisfying and meaningful? Absolutely.

If you’re someone who simply must give unwrappable gifts around the holidays, that’s okay, too. Instead of volume, maybe aim for meaningful, practical, and multi-functional items. Here are a few ideas:

1. Holiday Survival Kit: Packed full of little self-care items, this is the pre-holiday surprise for that busy friend who hasn’t read this post. Pair it with a good drink or spa gift card, and they will love you forever.

2. Natural Hardwood Charcuterie Board: Charcuterie boards serve so many functions: as a serving platter, as a cutting board, and even as decor placed beautifully against the kitchen backsplash or an open shelf.

3. Birch Votive Candle Holder: Although this item’s primary function is decor, it is a great way to embrace the outdoors in a home, especially if nature is meaningful and special to your recipient.

4. Handmade Bread Warmer & Wicker Basket: Naturally insulating terracotta stone keeps bread warm, while the handmade basket offers easy passing from the kitchen or across the table…or any number of other purposes. A good basket can always be put to use.

5. “Pour a Double” Holiday Napkin: Whether for you or a friend, these holiday napkins will add some sparkle and humor to your events. They may even remind you to take the pressure off of hostessing and actually enjoy the event this year.

A New “Perfect” Holiday Season

When we let go of some of the decorating and gifting traditions we’ve clung so tightly to, we open ourselves up to experiencing the holidays more deliberately, personally, and meaningfully. As a result, we have the time and energy to truly connect with the ones we love, creating deep and lasting memories that are just as fulfilling as those experienced as a child.

This holiday season and throughout the entire year, I hope you experience warm encounters that breathe unbridled joy into your daily life. If giving yourself the gift of a meaningful home is in your plans for the new year, please reach out to me. I’d love to help you celebrate holistic living all year long.

Yours,

Monique

Releasing Perfectionism During The Holiday Season